"sir what you did is literally 100 percent illegal"
"ok but get this: im a rich white person"
"oh sorry about that sir"
i want to get so good at giving sly digs that you dont even realize i insulted you until like a week later when you randomly start crying while eating breakfast
the more sexual and inappropriate you are with me the better we’ll get along
when you over-hear a joke in someone else’s conversation and accidentally laugh out loud